Tuesday, November 6, 2012

What God Reveals While I Sew Last Minute Kilts

I'm not sure why it hasn't hit me before now.  That this life I am living is so similar to the one my mom lived.  But, as we laughed and made last minute program costumes on Thursday night for my famously procrastinating husband, who was due at camp in less than 24 hours, she said, "oh...I remember what this is like.  I've done this before."  And it hit me like it was brand new.  She does know this life.

She knows about a husband in ministry...a job that comes home with you every night, both physically, as in stuff everywhere (with my dad it was music...always endless pages of music filling up our house, and cassette tapes of choral arrangements in every part), and in your heart.  Always thinking about what was stirred during that last conversation or thinking about that kid that's walked away and needs Jesus so bad.

She knows about raising three girls, too.  Last week she told me she didn't envy the task Loren and I have.  That raising girls back when we were small was hard enough.  Today, it seems so much harder. But she has also pulled me aside before and told me that she wouldn't have traded having three girls for anything.  And I can see in her eyes what I have come to know to be true.  That the moments between mothers and daughters can be so full with feeling, all that estrogen and all those easy tears mixed with the flowery vanilla scents that women have, that a heart can feel just about to burst with the beauty of it. And I know that when her cell phone plays the tune to "My Girl" when one of us calls, that that's exactly how she feels. 

It's been a rough year and a half for my parents. Life always has it's ups and downs but I think when you're in your 60's you think that roller coaster should be leveling out.  That you should feel more settled.  But, God doesn't always play by our rules.  (Thank goodness, right?!?) And in the midst of all of the heartache and the up in the air and the lazy days when all you wanna do is something, rather than nothing, I know one thing that has remained.  My parents have never doubted that God was faithful.  That he was at work for their good.  And someday, if God sends heartache and a storm that won't be stilled as quickly as I would hope, my prayer is that I will remember that my mom knows that kind of life, too.  And that I'd find some hope in remembering the faith of my parents...enough to remember that God is always faithful.  That he is always at work for my good.  And, if I'm lucky (and I am, people, I SO am!) my husband will also lead us gently through that time with humor that just won't quit!  Yeah...she knows about that, too.  She knows about husbands full of jokes and she, like me, knows just when to laugh.


Melodie said...

ah the tears. that was a good one, sister.

The Coopers said...

loved this post!