Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Various Cuteness
I am hopeful that, at some point, I will have something of significance to say again on my blog. But, for now, it's not fair for me to deprive you of the cute pictures I have of my little ones. So, here are some pictures to let you know what most of my days are like. And, to be honest, it feels like that is significant enough.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Halloween...finally
It only took me about a month to get Halloween pictures up! And, yes, I am congratulating myself on that fact. I have three of the cutest little chickadees around and it hardly takes a costume to show you that. But, because we LOVE dressing up all year around in this house, a holiday where that is celebrated is pretty darn great in my book.
So, here they are. Hope, as the Statue of Liberty (or LIVERTY as she would say), Bella, as Minnie Mouse...she's obsessed, and Ava, as a beautiful little flower. Enjoy!
So, here they are. Hope, as the Statue of Liberty (or LIVERTY as she would say), Bella, as Minnie Mouse...she's obsessed, and Ava, as a beautiful little flower. Enjoy!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Things I Love About My Girls
There are so many things to love about my kids. But, here are a few specifics on how they are each making me smile lately.
1. Hope loves to change Ava's diapers. And she does it perfectly. She even puts the sticky parts on in just the right place. Not too loose. Not too tight. She gets such a kick out of being my little helper and she has totally committed herself to the role of big sister. Totally. Committed.
2. She is almost always in the process of putting on a show, dreaming up a show, dressing up for a show, directing a show, making signs to advertise a show, or cleaning up after a show. I have always said that Hope is "the show" in our family. And she certainly is.
3. She is learning to laugh at herself. This is one my favorite things to watch right now. She is starting to realize that some of the things she does, even unintentionally, are just funny. And it cracks her up. She totally gets this from her dad. And I love it because my pride sometimes makes me struggle to laugh at the silly things I do...still. She gets it, though. There is a humility in her that lets her giggle at herself. What a gift! It's the cutest little giggle, too. I have prayed often that her giftedness would be tempered with humility. I think we're off to a good start.
Bella
1. Bella insists on calling her little sister BABY Ava. Not Ava. Baby Ava. And she oohs and ahhs over her tiny hands and feet on a daily basis. She sings her songs and comforts her when she cries with a gentle, "It's okay, Baby Ava." and some sweet kisses on her head. She is meant to be a mother. Oh how I pray that she gets to be a mother.
2. She loves to sing. And I mean...LOVES to sing. You can't not even imagine the joy that this brings me. We both sing, at the top of our lungs in the car, and she knows almost all the words! Her favorites right now: Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Twinkle, and Swing Low Sweet Chariot. The words to all of these songs are, apparently, interchangeable and so we often hear these beautiful melodies coming from our sweet girl. "Twinkle twinkle little star. For the bible tells me so...." And while she may be a song bird like her mom, she has inherited her love for interpretive dance, like her dad. If she had em, she would work the white gloves like nobody's business.
3. She feels deeply. Bella's heart is so soft. And, not only does she feel deeply but she expresses it well, beyond her years, I think. When she was sick a couple of weeks ago, she couldn't hold the baby. Each time she would ask and I would say no, her eyes would well up with tears and she would say, "Me sad." Then, later on, just to let me know she was over it, she would brighten up and say, "I not sad anymore, Mama." "I'm so glad," I would say, so thankful that she understands her own feelings. While I would hope and pray that I have nurtured this in her, I also know she comes by this naturally, having a birthmom who feels deeply as well. I have a deep sense that, as she gets older, people will desire to share their story with Bella, and find, in return, a woman willing to plunge into the depths with them. What a blessing!
Ava
1. I love the way her tiny baby body relaxes against me like I was the safest place in the world. And I love when that is coupled with the sweetest little baby sigh you can imagine.
2. Ava sleeps with her mouth open, which I love for two reasons. The first is that I sleep with my mouth open. We make quite a pair curled up on the couch together. Don't worry....I'll wash our pillow cases more often than the others. The second is that it makes it easier to smell her sweet baby breath. :) One of my most favorite scents.
3. I love how expressive she is already. Already smiling in response to singing or the sound of our voices. Loren was playing the guitar this morning and her eyes lit up, followed by the sweetest smile we have seen so far. She also furrows her little brow when she's not happy. She is so interactive, much more than my other girls were at this age, and we just trip over ourselves trying to each get a reaction out of her. She has such a sweet spirit and her beautiful dark eyes seem wise to me. I pray that she has wisdom, and that it is always accompanied with this gentle spirit. I am so smitten with this little girl!
There is no way I could ever communicate how much I love these girls. It's the good kind of love that helps you understand God's love a little better. The kind that is deep and vulnerable and wild and spilling over. The kind that makes you feel like your heart is gonna explode sometimes. I'm sure I could never fully communicate the depths of it. But that doesn't mean I won't try. And one of my greatest hopes is that my children can fully understand someday, what a gift it is to be their mommy.
Hope
1. Hope loves to change Ava's diapers. And she does it perfectly. She even puts the sticky parts on in just the right place. Not too loose. Not too tight. She gets such a kick out of being my little helper and she has totally committed herself to the role of big sister. Totally. Committed.
2. She is almost always in the process of putting on a show, dreaming up a show, dressing up for a show, directing a show, making signs to advertise a show, or cleaning up after a show. I have always said that Hope is "the show" in our family. And she certainly is.
3. She is learning to laugh at herself. This is one my favorite things to watch right now. She is starting to realize that some of the things she does, even unintentionally, are just funny. And it cracks her up. She totally gets this from her dad. And I love it because my pride sometimes makes me struggle to laugh at the silly things I do...still. She gets it, though. There is a humility in her that lets her giggle at herself. What a gift! It's the cutest little giggle, too. I have prayed often that her giftedness would be tempered with humility. I think we're off to a good start.
Bella
1. Bella insists on calling her little sister BABY Ava. Not Ava. Baby Ava. And she oohs and ahhs over her tiny hands and feet on a daily basis. She sings her songs and comforts her when she cries with a gentle, "It's okay, Baby Ava." and some sweet kisses on her head. She is meant to be a mother. Oh how I pray that she gets to be a mother.
2. She loves to sing. And I mean...LOVES to sing. You can't not even imagine the joy that this brings me. We both sing, at the top of our lungs in the car, and she knows almost all the words! Her favorites right now: Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Twinkle, and Swing Low Sweet Chariot. The words to all of these songs are, apparently, interchangeable and so we often hear these beautiful melodies coming from our sweet girl. "Twinkle twinkle little star. For the bible tells me so...." And while she may be a song bird like her mom, she has inherited her love for interpretive dance, like her dad. If she had em, she would work the white gloves like nobody's business.
3. She feels deeply. Bella's heart is so soft. And, not only does she feel deeply but she expresses it well, beyond her years, I think. When she was sick a couple of weeks ago, she couldn't hold the baby. Each time she would ask and I would say no, her eyes would well up with tears and she would say, "Me sad." Then, later on, just to let me know she was over it, she would brighten up and say, "I not sad anymore, Mama." "I'm so glad," I would say, so thankful that she understands her own feelings. While I would hope and pray that I have nurtured this in her, I also know she comes by this naturally, having a birthmom who feels deeply as well. I have a deep sense that, as she gets older, people will desire to share their story with Bella, and find, in return, a woman willing to plunge into the depths with them. What a blessing!
Ava
1. I love the way her tiny baby body relaxes against me like I was the safest place in the world. And I love when that is coupled with the sweetest little baby sigh you can imagine.
2. Ava sleeps with her mouth open, which I love for two reasons. The first is that I sleep with my mouth open. We make quite a pair curled up on the couch together. Don't worry....I'll wash our pillow cases more often than the others. The second is that it makes it easier to smell her sweet baby breath. :) One of my most favorite scents.
3. I love how expressive she is already. Already smiling in response to singing or the sound of our voices. Loren was playing the guitar this morning and her eyes lit up, followed by the sweetest smile we have seen so far. She also furrows her little brow when she's not happy. She is so interactive, much more than my other girls were at this age, and we just trip over ourselves trying to each get a reaction out of her. She has such a sweet spirit and her beautiful dark eyes seem wise to me. I pray that she has wisdom, and that it is always accompanied with this gentle spirit. I am so smitten with this little girl!
There is no way I could ever communicate how much I love these girls. It's the good kind of love that helps you understand God's love a little better. The kind that is deep and vulnerable and wild and spilling over. The kind that makes you feel like your heart is gonna explode sometimes. I'm sure I could never fully communicate the depths of it. But that doesn't mean I won't try. And one of my greatest hopes is that my children can fully understand someday, what a gift it is to be their mommy.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
The Hospital
We had the great privilege of being up at the hospital shortly after Ava was born and spent the next two days visiting with K, her birthmom, and taking care of our sweet baby girl. A couple of weeks prior, I had begun gearing up for this. It's rough. It's emotional. And it's hard to explain why. I almost feel ridiculous trying to explain how it all feels...like people will think I am making it more dramatic than it actually is even though I know that I'm not. I think that because people say things like, "It must be nice to not have to go through labor and just get to go pick up a baby." And, I guess there's some truth to that. I AM thankful that I don't have to go through labor. But, it is most definitely NOT just "going and picking up a baby." It's just not.
K was great. She wanted us super involved at the hospital which was really special. I got to do almost all the feedings and changing the diapers. And it really meant a lot to me. But there is also this underlying reality that this time in the hospital is quickly coming to an end and for K that means saying goodbye to her precious baby. So, in the middle of all of this functional stuff like bottle and diapers and the precious stuff like sitting in awe of this perfect creature, there is all this grief. And it would just hit at times like a Mack Truck. Gut wrenching sadness. I would ask if she wanted me to step out and spend some time with Ava by herself. "No," she would say, "I like it when you're here." So I would sit and watch her cry and put my arm around her and wonder if it caused more pain than it did good.
You can't get away from the bittersweetness of adoption. And here is a bold statement. I'm not sure you can be a good adoptive parent if you can't embrace the grief. Cause here's the thing about the grief. It is a gift to your child. As hard as it is, it tells a precious story about incredible love.
Right before we left the hospital, K was holding Ava and just soaking her little face with tears. She handed her to me and hugged me at the same time saying, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you" over and over as I said, "No, thank you. Thank you." Our tears were all mixed together and covering sweet Ava's body. And I can't help now but think that this is one of the most perfect pictures of adoption. Two mothers, covering this precious baby with tears from grief all mixed up with gratefulness for the gifts they can't provide for themselves. And it's all just a tad overwheming.
K was great. She wanted us super involved at the hospital which was really special. I got to do almost all the feedings and changing the diapers. And it really meant a lot to me. But there is also this underlying reality that this time in the hospital is quickly coming to an end and for K that means saying goodbye to her precious baby. So, in the middle of all of this functional stuff like bottle and diapers and the precious stuff like sitting in awe of this perfect creature, there is all this grief. And it would just hit at times like a Mack Truck. Gut wrenching sadness. I would ask if she wanted me to step out and spend some time with Ava by herself. "No," she would say, "I like it when you're here." So I would sit and watch her cry and put my arm around her and wonder if it caused more pain than it did good.
You can't get away from the bittersweetness of adoption. And here is a bold statement. I'm not sure you can be a good adoptive parent if you can't embrace the grief. Cause here's the thing about the grief. It is a gift to your child. As hard as it is, it tells a precious story about incredible love.
Right before we left the hospital, K was holding Ava and just soaking her little face with tears. She handed her to me and hugged me at the same time saying, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you" over and over as I said, "No, thank you. Thank you." Our tears were all mixed together and covering sweet Ava's body. And I can't help now but think that this is one of the most perfect pictures of adoption. Two mothers, covering this precious baby with tears from grief all mixed up with gratefulness for the gifts they can't provide for themselves. And it's all just a tad overwheming.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Pictures You Have Been Waiting For
My new hairdo!!! ...okay, I'm kidding, I'm kidding...but it IS pretty great. :)
Here are some pictures of my sweet girls. I have been waiting so that I could post about my experience at the hospital with Ava and her precious birthmom, K. But, it's still too fresh. Too emotional. Too hard to figure out exactly what I wanna say about it right now. So...here are some pictures for now. And really, they say plenty. We are blessed!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
