Africa

Well yall', it looks like I'm going to Africa!


More specifically, in March, I'll be heading to Tanzania with some of my Young Life friends!


Last March, at our Women's Young Life retreat, my friend, Shelley, asked us to pray about this trip she was putting together to Africa. As she talked, my heart starting pounding. You know the feeling. The one where God starts to stir up something you never planned on? At any rate, as we were getting ready to leave, I just casually mentioned to her that I wanted to be kept in the loop. I wasn't sure what God was doing but I knew he had been making my heart tender towards Africa ever since my beautiful Zambian/Kenyan daughter was born and maybe this was a part of that.

So, last month, when she called with the dates and the details, and asked me to pray, I did. And, despite all of the reasons why it doesn't make any sense for me to go, (and there are many), I'm gonna. Not because I have to go. Not because God needs me to go. But just because I can sense that the Lord is asking me to lean in. That he desires to show me more of who he is. I can also sense, by the way, my own sinful resistance to that, and because of that, my decision to go felt really good. It felt like the Spirit inside of me stood up to the flesh and said, "Hell, no!"

So, at the end of March, I, along with three or four other women, will head to Tanzania to serve and love on and encourage the women on Young Life staff all over Africa. One of the staff helping to facilitate our time there said you can't overstate how important this will be. That certainly there is a great need for people to come and care for the poor and the orphan. Those needs may never go away. But, that we have to realize how important it is to care for and pour into these women who are a part of the solution in their own countries. To equip and refresh them to go back and continue to serve those they come in contact with every day. To allow them a long, slow drink from the Fountain of Living Water, that they might go back and share the gospel out of the overflow. What a privilege to be a part of that.

And, just so you know, I'm pretty sure I'll come back, unable to overstate the impact it has on me. I just have a sense.

Halloween!

Halloween is way too much cuteness for one night. It makes me want to have periodic costume parties just to have an excuse to dress my kids up in adorable costumes. This year we were:

Princess Tiana from "The Princess and the Frog"....Loren's mom made this dress. Seriously...she is just ridiculously amazing!

A Pink Poodle. We decided on this last minute. Bella couldn't decide between this and Cinderella, but after putting it on Friday night, I think she just knew she was so stinkin' adorable in it, that it won out. And she was right.
And a sweet little lamb. Ava could live in this costume this winter as far as I'm concerned. It is so soft and so cute! And, lest you think she didn't get the whole Halloween thing, this baby had her first sucker and was addicted! She gets it....oh brother, does she get it. It's all about the candy!


We went trick or treating with our friends after small group on Sunday night. This was a picture of some of the kids, after getting all sugared up. Hey...I feel like having a sugar hangover is a great way to start the school week!
And this then....just because I need to tell you that I found these magic glasses while unpacking a few more toys. They magically make this baby stop crying when I put them on her. A little handy tool I discovered while trying to cook dinner and deal with a fussy, teething baby at the same time. Something I am so grateful for, that I just stopped writing to thank Jesus for the magic glasses. He knew I needed a little magic yesterday.

A Texas Wedding

This weekend, we made a quick little trip to Texas to celebrate my cousin's wedding. I love my cousin, Britt a lot. We have tons of great memories from growing up together and his parents (my aunt and uncle, of course) are some of my most favorite people in all the world. It was a beautiful wedding and Britt's new bride, Crystal, is such a sweetheart. We just wouldn't have missed this wedding for the world.

The icing on the cake (I seriously just realized that was a pun...and I wasn't even trying!) is that my entire family would be there, which doesn't happen that often (and yes...I know that is mostly my fault for living out here in hippie Colorado). So, I came to the most beautiful part of Texas, the hill country, for a fancy wedding and some much needed family time. I got both.

I love it when we get to be with family because I just know my kids are making memories. I have great memories with all my cousins and I know my kids will, too. Here they all are at the rehearsal. This is the absolute best picture we could get. With seven kids 7 & under, it just is what it is.
And then, on the day of the wedding, we took lots of pictures of all of us dressed up. My kids love dressing up, which is so fun. But, I told my mom, I DO NOT know how she dressed all three of us girls every Sunday morning for church, without my dad's help (since he was at church much earlier). But, she surely did, and we were always dressed to the nines, with our bows tied correctly, matching shoes, and our thick hair curled and tied up in matching bows. The woman is some kind of a superhero.

Sweet Bella. Doesn't she smile with her entire face?
I have a sweet one of Hope, too, but who am I trying to kid. This picture is totally more her.

This is Ava's favorite new pose for pictures I love that she throws her little head back and laughs. She is so much fun!

The Fleming girls! Here we all are. My beautiful mom, who just last week was almost refused senior admission to the State Fair because she looks so darn young, and my gorgeous sisters. I have spent my whole life loving these women and am so blessed by their love for me and their love for Christ, which overflows onto everyone around them. We look GOOD, girls!And, how about that? They all looked at the camera. That is a miracle worth documenting.


It needs to be said that, though my roots are Baptist, my family can get down with the best of them. But, we decided we might need a little practice before the reception that night and we wanted to show the kids our moves. So, we did what any normal family would do. We had a little impromptu dance party on the porch, where we all did our fair share of dancing, and where, all the adults but one eventually figured out that the camera was rolling and this film was very likely to end up on someone's blog. Sorry mom, but I do feel like I gave you fair warning. Besides...it's time everyone knew where our wicked dance moves come from.





After the wedding reception, we took off, headed back to the great state of Colorado. And, as the kids quickly fell asleep (thank you, Jesus!) I was thankful for my time with my first family and all of their families. And, I knew that I was blessed to be heading home with this family. This one who will also someday sprout new branches and grow bigger. This family, who began with a wedding, and has grown now to this. Thanks be to God!

One Year Ago Today

It hardly seems possible that, a year ago today, we met Ava. A year ago today, we came into a hospital room and saw the first glimpse of her face. Only her face, since the rest of her was tightly wrapped and a stocking cap was firmly planted on her head. A year ago today, her birthmom handed her to me and I felt the weight of her body against mine for the first time, and the magnitude of being a mother. A year ago today, I pulled that cap right off of her head so I could see what was underneath. Oodles of black curls, which made me grin and tear up immediately. A year ago today, I slowly unwrapped the blankets from around her so I could have a precious peek at those baby hands and feet, and then quickly tucked her back inside. A year ago today, I said to her, through blurry eyes and with deep conviction, "Hi, Ava. I'm your mommy." And I wondered how it was possible to feel this awestruck the third time around. But I did. And I do.

Today, she babbles to me like she's known me all along. She throws her head back and laughs at my silliness like I was put on this earth just for her. She toddles over to me with her arms up, knowing she's welcome. She cries and finds that my shoulder is a magical place that makes everything better. And knowing that one who was never at home in my body is at home in my arms, is a miracle that pays tribute to the God who can do exceedingly more than we can ask or even imagine.

Happy Birthday, precious Ava, "breath of life." On this day I celebrate God's goodness in giving you life. And am mystified by his goodness in giving me the privilege of knowing you best.

"Praise be to the LORD God, the God of Israel, who alone does marvelous deeds." Psalm 72:18

Content

Renovations-are-us in the Kolman home. And, we are really enjoying checking some things off of our list. But, there is a limit to how much chaos I can handle and, this week, I reached it.

It's my own fault, really. When there are projects to be done, I just feel compelled to do it. And it's hard for me to move on until I do. It's hard for me to think about almost anything else, until it's done. And therein lies the chaos. Because life keeps on moving. Kids still need to be fed. Homework still needs to be finished. And normal everyday cleaning still abounds. You might be aware of some of my recent ramblings about how unexpectedly hard life with three kids has been. If you are, then the knowledge that I am adding to my workload by trying to steam off wallpaper and paint rooms should tell you all that you need to know. Chaos.

Today, I read in Hebrews 13, "be content with what you have" and it hit a nerve and apparently some kind of water valve because water started coming out of my eyes at an alarming rate. I used to think of contentedness as the discipline of not wanting too much. Or, learning to like what you have. And that may be true. But today, I realized that it's a lot more than that. We are told to be content for our own darn good and not because God looks down on us and shakes his head at how selfish we can be. We are told to be content because, when we aren't, we obsess over something other than God and as it subtly begins to take over and crowd out the spirit, I experience an unrest that I am unaccustomed to. When I can't think of anything else except getting my room painted so I don't have to live in the guest room anymore, I don't make time to sit in his presence. My brain, in it's discontented state, does not allow me to rest in Him, or at all for that matter. Such a simple thing. But, I have found it to be so hard. Especially when I'm in a place where there is much to be done.

So as I sat with that passage in Hebrews, I knew that God meant to convict me of more than my most recent obsession. And he proceeded to gently reveal how my discontent with any part of my life is a sneaky way in which Satan gets me focused on myself. And how, if I don't nip it in the bud, and quick, it is a seriously downhill spiral into unthinkable sin. Souls in unrest will do unimaginable things to forget that they are not at rest. And, his grace, as he revealed the dark places reminded me that I wanna be at rest in Jesus. Always. I don't want Satan to have a foothold in any part of my life. And, as ridiculous as it seems, painting a room created just enough chaos in my life to shift my gaze away from God.

And here's what I know about the view from there. It's a freakin' wreck.